Well...

The following was written 25 June 2008, en route to Chicago:

New York disappointed me. First of all, not only had Kelly already moved to San Francisco after I had agreed to stop in NYC specifically to see her and Meg, but the city also turned out to be too much for me, too many people, too noisy, too much space. It was of course all familiar, but being there felt in no way like the homecoming I was expecting.

New York still holds it's special beauty for me: the view of the evening sky from the fire escape on Meg's top-floor apartment, Central Park and the smell of the flowers, the jagged and characteristically crowded skyline. But, however, most strongly I met with the city's difficult aspects, which were accentuated by my year's absence - the noisy ans smelly subways, the way things are sooooo far apart from each other, and how people have to try so darn hard just to make it. Most people work like dogs, and the fashion there, if not downright cutthroat with specific uniforms of cool, is still an extremely competitive sport.

I always thought that Kraków was too small and time capsule-y for me. but I already miss it for its familiarity and charms. When I had the day to myself yesterday, the first place I headed was Greenpoint, Brooklyn so that I might be surrounded by New York's Polish immigrant community. I followed the streets where some of the shops signs were written in Polish --Gabinet Kosmetyczny, Adwokat, Solarium, and the St. Stanislaus Kostka church-- and I strained to listen in on people's conversation to try and catch some sounds I might recognize. Sure, there were Polish placards on every corner deli, but (and maybe because I was out in the middle of a workday Tuesday) the result of my excursion was not what I was looking for. When my brother, Peter, and I went for lunch at a Polish restaurant in the neighborhood a few years ago, I seem to remember a more visible and vibrant presence of the culture. Yesterday, the most permeating signs of the people I was seeking were the empty Żywiec and Tyskie bottles filling the bins on the sidewalks set out for recycling day. (Even so, I could walk out of the Beford Ave station and barely walk across one street to buy a bottle of żubrówka from the proprietor of a liquor store in Polish... That was fun.)

...........

I don't know where I feel at home anymore. I feel like at any moment I might break into tears (ok, maybe only because I am physically and emotionally exhausted) because I miss what I don't have. One of those things is a desire to return to Minnesota. I don't know what the next step will be, and even worse is that I don't know what I want it to be. I know New York, and I blend in there. A tourist couple stopped me at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge to ask me directions to the nearest A train despite the fact that I actually had no idea and was looking myself! But then I remember how on my first solo orientating walk of Kraków I was stopped by a girl for directions or something of which I am not even sure because I could only speak 5 words of Polish at the time. So, I'm not sure where I feel the most comfortable and the most myself. I think I need more time...

At Meg's place, because Meagan is working at a Starbucks and can bring home tons of free food, my diet has consisted of Starbucks for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with a pizza last night thrown in just for variety. Then we'd all sit, play on our computers and watch TV. Welcome back to the United States.

Dzięki Bogu, że jest piątek

6 hours of exams on Thursday + 5 hours on Friday = 1 tired Sarah

Of course, with each day that passes I am getting closer to the day on which I have to leave Poland, and that is sad. (We're down to 10 days...) I don't like the end of things. But no matter how much I wish that time would cease to rush on, I find this graphic HILARIOUS and EXACTLY what I am feeling post-soul-draining Polish exams.



Cheers.

The List

Happy June 1st (Dzień Dziecka w Polsce, by the way)! That means that I have less than one month left here in Kraków. There have been plenty of goods and plenty of bads, so here is a running list –which I am sure will be updated as I keep thinking about things– of what I WILL and WILL NOT miss about life in Kraków/Poland/Europe/Abroad. And since I am generally an optimistic person (meaning not yet 100% Polonised) this list seems to favor the positive recollections... for now.

+ THE POSITIVES

• being able to hop on a train and cheaply travel to any part of the continent when you've got some time on your hands
• not having to be at the train station more than 15 minutes before departure
• morning walks to school along the Wisła and Wawel Castle
• hearing the hejnał at the top of every hour, especially late at night
  
• discovering new running paths up to and around the Kopiec
• the Planty
• Park Jordana and the Błonia
  
• the smell and color of rapeseed fields in the countryside
• my international friends (especially the Hungarians and their cooking)
• getting some free money at the beginning of each month from the Polish Bureau of Education
• Polish piwo and wódka
• dare I even say that I might miss surówka and kapusta?
• for sure all of the beets and barszcz
• how even though the dollar has taken a nose dive, things still cost half-price
• how no matter how bad my last self-administered haircut turned out, there will always be some Polish girl with a worse euro-style something on her head
• making up for lost time in the sense that I am living the life that most people already went through in college
• the way foreigners pronounce my name - long "a"s just sound better
• Chór Uniwersytet Rolniczego
• Vladimír
  

- THE NEGATIVES

• the so-called "napkins"
• all the hand-washed laundry
  
• laundry in Piast
• pigeons in Piast
• cranky receptionist dude in Piast
  
• ok, just Piast in general
• and all those stupid pigeons in general
• not being able to express what I'm thinking among Polish speakers and consequently feeling shy, submissive, and not intelligent
• not being able to master the difference between pronouncing "ś" and "sz," "ć" and "cz," as well as "ź" or "ż"
• trying to ride a tram down Karmelicka during afternoon rush hour
• the smell of the horse carriages on the Rynek (ewww)
  
• the time gap between the end of the day bus schedule and the beginning of the night buses